So I’ve been having this fantasy lately.
I’m a dreamer, but I’m also practical, so I generally give up on dreams that aren’t at all feasible. This one is somewhat wild, but ultimately… It’s possible.
The dream is, at the basest level, to sell most of my stuff, put the rest of it into storage, trade in my car for a cargo van or an RV, and live in it while traveling the continent as a Romani-style vagabond.
Obviously, there’s questions that come with this.
Why?
It’s no secret that I hate my job, but at the same time there’s nothing that I’ve found so far that exists yet that I would want to do long-term as a career that would guarantee me a secure living. I also don’t like living with roommates, and rent is so very incredibly high right now -- at least in places that I would want to live -- that it’s unlikely that I will be able to afford to live alone any time soon. At this point in my life, while I do fear being homeless, I’ve had such bad luck with living situations that sometimes I would almost rather be homeless.
I am 21 years old, and I’m feeling that natural wanderlust that I’ve been told people normally get at this age. I also have a very prevalent avoidance mechanism, that’s been present practically since day one. The mixture of both of these things has been causing this persistent itch to run away, to leave everything behind and see the world for myself. I feel stifled, and I’ve been having these existential crises that make me terrified that I’m going to be this way forever, caught in a cycle of discontent and unhappiness.
I don’t want to feel that way anymore.
I’m not an outdoorsy person. I don’t like backpacking or hiking, and I especially don’t like camping. I have back problems and can’t sleep on the ground. I’m a germaphobe. I need to shower and wash my hands. I need sturdy shelter. I need electricity and I need to be able to plug in and use the internet. So I wouldn’t be able to do this on foot.
I also like driving. So there’s that too.
And car payments would most likely be much cheaper than rent.
How?
That’s a fantastic question. I’m glad you asked.
There are a lot of things I would need to make this work.
I would want to trade in my current tiny commuter vehicle for a much, much larger one. I’m a simple lady; I could do this in a cargo/cutaway van, although an RV would obviously be nice. The van might be an interesting challenge though, and it’s definitely cheaper. So, for all intents and purposes, we’ll assume that it’s a van that I’m getting.
In the cargo area, first and foremost, I would want to put a mattress. For food, I would need a mini fridge & freezer, and I would want to include a hot plate, and possibly an electric kettle (I’m not big on hot beverages besides coffee, but I might want cup noodles or something). Besides that, I would need lots of storage bins, and lots of bungee cords to hold things in place so they don’t move around when they’re jostled, as they are guaranteed to be when in the back of a moving van. I could put a space heater and a portable A/C unit in there, and then otherwise deck it out with fairy lights and big-ass pillows and bean bag chairs and aesthetic things of that nature.
All these things are going to need power, of course. My solution for that is to cover the roof with solar panels, and hook it all up to a battery (several, for backup) which can power a generator (again, probably several, for backup). The fridge would need to constantly be powered, although if all else fails, I can always fill a cooler with bags of ice from the grocery store and keep perishables in there. To be safe though, I would probably want to keep the number of perishables to a minimum.
Running water would also be a problem I would run into. Bathrooms are not a rarity, laundromats exist, and YMCAs have public showers, which is something that I don’t have to do every day. But I do have to brush my teeth twice a day, and acne is a hell of a thing, so I also have to wash my face as many times. And you can’t do those things at just any rest stop. So I would have to stock up on gallons upon gallons of clean fresh water, not just for drinking. That’s as easy to come by as any grocery store though; it’s just a thing I would need to keep track of.
I also rely pretty heavily on my mood stabilizers for my bipolar disorder. With my current prescription, I would have to go back to Seattle every two months to refill it. Technically, I could do it anywhere, but it’s a lot more difficult to explain to a psychiatrist’s office and pharmacy that I want to live in a van and travel all over the country than it would be to just go back to the one. I would also have to go back home to vote -- that’s not a right that I’m willing to give up.
Internet would be taken care of via my phone. My current plan allows for unlimited data, so I could set up a mobile hotspot as long as it’s plugged into a constant power source, i.e., the generator. The connection slows down after so much data is used, but that’s no big deal. I can survive watching YouTube at 240p, and there will always be places with free WiFi.
I would want to adopt a dog. Being an ambivert, I would probably occasionally get lonely. Social media is one thing, but connections in the physical world can’t really be falsely simulated. Me being me, an animal would absolutely be enough, and while I usually prefer cats, it’s doubtful that just any cat would be well-suited for this kind of lifestyle. Self-defense is also something incredibly necessary to keep in mind. I am young, a woman, and alone, which are three qualities that generally make me a target. So having a big ol’ scary-looking dog would be a good deterrent. Obviously this isn’t going to stop everyone, so I would have to keep a few things to use to defend myself if necessary, because people suck and the world is scary.
Ultimately, my biggest obstacle is money. Doing this, I wouldn’t be able to have a real job or a steady source of income, and there are many many recurring expenses, including but not limited to health and auto insurance, car payments, phone payments, food, toiletries, and gas.
I also am a recovering shopaholic who has made very bad financial (and life) decisions in the past, and I am currently approximately $9,000 in debt. And that’s a pretty conservative estimate - there are some people and organizations to which I probably owe more money than I know of for sure. In order to make this dream a reality, I would have to pay off all of that, cancel at least two of my credit cards, and close out an entire bank account.
Therefore, including all the supplies and equipment and the elimination of all my current debt, and excluding the down payment on the van (which will differ depending on which one I decide to get and where I would be getting it from) and savings for emergency purposes, the very conservative estimate for starting out would be approximately $11,000.
That’s a lot of money.
However, assuming I can keep my current job, and depending on how much I would be paying in rent and internet after I move out of my current place once the lease is up in the spring, I could do it in about two years.
The absolute ultimate all-time ideal would be to get the starting funds via GoFundMe. Then I would document my journey like the pretentious narcissist that I am through a blog or YouTube channel or both, and have a steady stream of income from Adsense, sponsors, and Patreon. The reason why this might be able to work is because while there are several people (looking at you, Casey Neistat) who would be wont to do this kind of thing, none of them have quite the same personality as I do, and none of them would be able to bring the kind of presence that I would.
Of course, this is all an unrealistic fantasy.
But a girl can dream, right?